Find Self-Esteem Through Self Care

By Zach Stahlecker, CMT

It’s easy to lose ourselves in our jobs, in our friends, or worse yet, the TV! Not that any of those are necessarily bad. We can find significance in our job. We can feel seen when we are around our friends. Even spending time watching your favorite show can be an important tool for decompressing after a long day–and, after all, it’s the enjoyment of great art which draws us to it.

But spending too much time relying on anything outside of yourself to make you happy will likely lead to disconnection from self.

When you take time for self-care you are reminding yourself that you are important. This is where we find our self-esteem.

Here are four things you need for a healthy level of self-esteem through self care, the steps to get you there!


One of the key components to self-esteem is valuing your worth. If you don’t believe you deserve to change, you won’t. Knowing you are worthy is the first step into good self-esteem, and often the hardest to realize.

  • Be mindful of who you spend your time with.
  • If you feel like people use you, say no.
  • Learn to accept compliments.
  • Eliminate negative self-talk. Introduce self-compassion.
  • Unlock hidden messages by journaling often.


Which way do you lean? Workaholic or freetime-fanatic? We usually have to force ourselves to shift our focus in one direction or the other. Here are some ideas on how to start making those shifts:

  • Schedule time free of commitments. This time can be fun, relaxing, or productive. Whatever happens in this time should be spontaneous. Filling yourself up with whatever you need in that moment.
  • Leave work on time.
  • Take breaks when you need them.
  • Pick up shifts, or take more days off.
  • Take a vacation or, if it suits you, a staycation.


Stress can worsen nearly every physical or psychological condition there is. If you find yourself constantly worried or feeling overwhelmed, get a handle on it. Some ideas you can commit to right now that could help you get a better handle on your stress:

  • Regularly take deep breaths.
  • Exercise frequently.
  • Receive regular bodywork.
  • Meditate or practice breathing exercises.
  • Focus on what you have control over.


It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind. If your days are feeling like Groundhog Days (i.e.: the movie), it’s time to change things up! Consider taking some of these steps to get back to living more in the moment:

  • Ask more questions, to yourself and others.
  • Homebody? Start saying yes when people request your company.
  • Take a class, any class. Engage your mind in new ways.
  • Tell people how you really feel (with kindness, of course!).
  • Eat your greens daily.
  • Don’t let fear stop you. Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
  • Laugh (BIG) everyday.
  • Make a list of things you enjoy doing, and make it your mission to add more of those to your days.